Best of the Best(est)..if there is a word like that!

The “X” factor

How many of you, passed that up as something to do with your ex-girlfriend. I guess most of you did. Well, the X factor over here is more to do with that hidden element or persona that attracts people to you. Mind you, by popular consensus, X factor would mean exuding sensuality or is it? Not the one to conform to such social idiosyncrasies, I pondered upon the last couple of years. And voila! The X factor started of meaning something totally different, years before. In today’s context it’s a whole new ball game.

By and large most of my friends would believe, “X” factor today, in the eyes of your girl would constitute anything but your good looks. Oh! It does pay to have DDG looks, but that’s as far as it can take you. Going by experiences (both by friends and personal) it’s all about the moolah and don’t you deny it! Honestly, we as a society are to be blamed for that. Parents keep infusing materialistic ideas into their kids, add to that peer pressure. Today you come across a girl, you manage to get that positive vibes, next thing you know, it’s a date. Just when you pop the question of something long term, the say it all parents barge in with a deterring question, “How much do you earn?” I would’ve thought, it’s a union of souls getting together, not an auction where the highest bidder takes it all! And I’m sure the girls would sway in the same direction. I sincerely believe, its turning out into one of them, official girl trading business. As much as the opposite sex tries to evade the fact, it is the drastic truth. Maybe it is a way of getting back to the male species, based on our past attitude. But who am I to fence off this new communal reform, although this new “X Factor” definition is the toast of the town.

This post may seem like nagging for most of you. But don’t you think that’s what is going around?

Cheers!

Let’s play, Musical Chairs!

Yeah, it’s been some time now. What the heck, you might as well enjoy Musical Chairs whilst waiting for your dinner. You’ll be thinking, what is this, Flash back time? Not quite, then, maybe it is. Like an episode straight out of your “Trip down memory lanes, thingy” I find myself surrounded by chairs. Only difference, this is a marriage reception and Oh! Here you have to save not only your chair, but your elder aunts and cousins and cousin’s wife and uncles you haven’t met since your last birthday. It’s well know, in fact it might even be in the Unofficial scrolls of Ghorpurian history. We attend any marriage receptions together, as a FAMILY. Some may call it lack of decency or unethical on our part. Fact is, we are a Joint Family.

Coming back to last evening’s event, it was embarrassing! At least in the beginning moments. Here we were, Premo (my younger cousin) and me, guarding our chairs as the music played on. Every now and then a guest walked by and looking at the vacant chairs tried to snatch it. We in turn politely denied them, but after a while we turned blunt in our denials. It wasn’t long till most of the passerby guests knew we were the sole Knights in Shining armor trying to safeguard the chairs (while the music still played on). Personally, I was dead beat, from taking care of the chairs and signaling the guests. We’d be better off employing some poor soul for the job(s). My cousin, though was still filed with zest and gusto, I certainly didn’t share his enthusiasm. Then there arrived another set of chairs (courtesy, the bride’s brother) and just when I thought life would get easier, my dreams of relishing the chicken handi and pulao fell flat on my face. Premo, with his ever so refreshing and annoying smile signals, we still got our work cut out for us. (Gaawd!! I should have opted to be at Dominic’s). 20 minutes pass by and still no sign of our family (Oh, did I forget to mention, they had gone wishing the bride/bridegroom and fishing for food). Just then, hope struck, my aunt walked up to us saying, “Alright boys, your turn, go knock yourselves out, there’s plenty to choose from!!” We nodded in unison and headed towards the stall. Wouldn’t you know it, the foods over. That’s what you get if you invite people from Ghorpuri!

I quit lamenting the defeat, because my elder cousin invited me for a couple of drinks (aaahh my Savior!!) He assured me, “Bandobast ho gaya hain” we will get our share of the dinner. Lord!! I love Family outings.

Cheers!

What a day !!

20:00 He is out of his bed, reluctantly. Looks at Gisele Bundchen, she still has that mercurial smile (from 8 hours ago, God alone knows how she manages it).

20:04 Alright, he is halfway through his bed, heading towards the shower. Mummy's watching the ever so interesting “Saas-Bahu” soap opera, Dad’s fixated on the idiot (as if he has a choice).

20:06 “Aaah, the icy liquid, it feels so refreshing” he says. He conjures up reasons for not leaving his humble abode this day, but all his ideas fall flat. Still in the shower, almost done with the daily routine of cleansing himself.

20:21 Out of the shower, he heads to the bedroom, frisking for his jeans and his favorite “Gunners” jersey. One of the little things that gets him pumped – the Arsenal tee.

20:29 Mum’s set the food on the table, he looks at it with those starving eyes. He is done with the chow, waiting for the call.

20:35 Sanjay calls him, it’s time to leave. He kisses Mum goodbye, thinking about the road ahead. Waves bye to his Dad.

20:39 He meets up with Sanjay, says Hi to bhaiya. Sanjay keeps blabbering about how he broke up with his girl, again (nothing new). He pretends to listen, whilst all he is thinking “When do we get there? “

20:58 Just in time and 2 minutes to spare. Srijesh questions them in an interrogatory manner, “Why did you guys turn in late?” Their reply, ”Caught up in Traffic, Sir” That alibi always bails them out.

21:03 Sitting up straight, with poise in his voice he tries to pacify, Chuck Snyder. But Chuck won’t take any of the excuses, in fact asks for a refund. It’s the first call of the first working day, it’s an escalation.

It’s a bright and sunny day, out there in

California, that is. In other news, Melvin is still struggling speaking on the headphone whilst trying to keep up with the nightlife.

Cheers.

Hey Maamz, chal kaltee marteh!

Need I say more. That’s slang talk for you. I never did think about the first time I came across slangs. Maybe it was from watching movies or overhearing my elder cousin with his posse. Needless to say, my Dad wasn’t excited about this whole colloquial speech. Hell! He even barred me from the mere enjoyment of kite flying. His explanation: Kite flying is meant for hooligans and hoodlums. Parental counsel aside, my destiny to slang was irrefutable. Here I am, way past my college days, still my favorite talk is slang talk. Ever wondered, why we cling ourselves to slang? Maybe it’s the individuality or that mental wavelength that comes about, by talking amongst ourselves.

Now, let’s touch up on some slang talk.

Maamz, Maamu, Machaa, Da = Dude, Buddy

Maaadhureee!! = Used to convey astonishment, in a rather exagerated way

Shot ho gaya OR scene ho gaya = some bad occurrence that’s affecting our plans

Kya scene hain? = Whats the plan?

Kya Yaron OR Kya Maamz = What is this dude. (hope I got that right)

Lagh gaye = We’re fucked or (for the uninitiated) We’re in trouble!

Kya Waath lagarah = WTF!

Think you get the picture!

We practically grew up on slang, like most of us did on cricket! Virus had once termed me as a “Slang Dictionary” or something similar.Well, all of us speak slang and I do mean “You All”. The only two or rather three occassions I cant think of are, when:

1. With our parents.
2. At work while conversing with clients or superiors.
3. This one is situational: With your girl (unless off course you got Rakhi Sawant as your girlfriend) I did mention situational!
   

Another interesting fact about slang, it varies according to where you’re from, where you working, whats your friend circle like. I for one, grasped most of it from my work place(s). By talking slang you make yourself a part of the group, be it at work or new acquantances. I have never come across a situation, where I use slang and the co-workers or friends react harsh or rude. Infact, its gells you in.

In the end slang though crticised by the majority, deep inside they all know “Mammaa!!” even I used to speak like that.

Cheers!